the final countdown...

As I sit here and make my to-do list for my final weeks, my mind is blown at how fast the last 14 months of my life have gone by. And I am reminded of how much this place has stolen my heart in so many ways. The beautiful faces of the children I work with everyday remind me of how much there is to do--how much God wants to work in their lives and in the lives of those they represent. He has great plans for them--bigger than anything I could imagine. The precious friendships I have made over the past year show me that He is faithful to provide a "home away from home"--He called me here, and He has provided countless people to make this place become more and more like home. The vision He has given me sometimes becomes overwhelming, but then I am reminded that this is His story--He has just chosen to allow me to play a role.

I look at who I was a year ago, and I can see that person has changed in countless ways. The past year has been a journey--and not one that has always been easy. But one that He has orchestrated. And even in the difficult moments, I remember that I am truly living my dream. And I wouldn't trade one minute....

As I prepare to come back home, my emotions differ from moment to moment. Excitement, anticipation, sadness, joy, expectation....the list goes on and on. I cannot wait to see my family--sit in a room with them--hug my niece and nephews--go to lunch at my granny's house--play cards with my parents--they are the people I love most in the world.

On the other hand, my sweet "family" on this side of the globe also holds a special place in my heart. My friends here have been an amazing support system, and I will miss them dearly. But I am thankful that I will be back soon :)

The most difficult goodbye comes on Friday when I have to say goodbye to my sweet kiddos at Ububele. I will walk away from them knowing that many of them I may never see again, but I am thankful for the opportunity that Lord has given me to be a small part of their lives. And I pray that I have shown His love into their lives.

I'm excited about the next chapter-I know God has great things in store. Things I can't even begin to fathom...

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support---Please continue to pray for wisdom and direction in the coming months as lots of decisions will be made. Pray that financial support will come for the camp I will be starting. Pray that I make the right decisions in regards to the camp. Pray that it will be exactly what God wants it to be and that I will accept that.

Love you all--see you soon :) 

Over the past few weeks, our kids at the school have had the opportunity to experience some outings that are for many of them once in a lifetime. For those of you who don't know, let me fill you in on the Gautrain, otherwise this won't make much sense :) The Gautrain is a train, somewhat similar to the Subway in New York, that was completed 2 years ago. It runs throughout different parts of Johannesburg, which is located in the provice of Gauteng--now the name makes sense :) Our kids and even the ladies that teach at the school had never had an opportunity to ride the train--and 2 weeks ago we were given the opportunity to take a ride free of charge! 

We loaded the kids up and went to the station. At the station they were greeted by characters that would teach them about the train and interact with them on our ride. We went from Rosebank station to Pretoria--about a 25 min ride. They heard stories, learned songs, got to dance, and most of all experience something that some of them may never get to do again. They absolutely loved it! It was an amazing day. 

Stemming from this, we were invited to attend the book launch for the Gautrain coffee table book. We went assuming we would just get to sit back and watch, but instead our kids had the opportunity to be a big part of the program for the day. They opened the program by walking in doing a step and singing--then they were on stage for the reading of a poem by a famous South African poet. They had the opportunity to meet various political leaders from Johannesburg, and once again share in a special once in a lifetime opportunity. I've attached some pictures below :) 

These experiences have been wonderful for our children, but they have also opened my eyes to some things. So many times where we are born decides what our opportunities will be. I know this isn't true in all situations, but for the most part, the kids I teach every day will never have the opportunities that many of us do. The opportunity to get a great education, to go to college, to live the comfortable life that we do, to travel the world....

And this reality broke my heart--how many times do I take this opportunities for granted? Do I ever truly thank God for allowing me to be born into a family and place that led me to have the opportunities I do? It's a difficult reality for me to face, especially as I prepare to say goodbye to my sweet kids in one month. Where will they be 10, 15, or 20 years from now? What opportunities will they get to experience? What will their lives look like? 

I have to rest in the fact that one day this sinful world that creates inequality will pass away--and those who believe in Christ will all live together with Him. All I can do is love them with the love of Christ...

Thank you...

I am quickly approaching the one year mark of living in SA. I honestly can't believe it--at times it seems like just yesterday, and at others it seems like a lifetime. Nonetheless, it has been an amazing journey that I can't believe is beginning to come to an end.

In the past few days I have been very reflective about my time here, and I realized all over again the amount of people who have played a part in it--so this is a small shout-out to them to say thanks for everything.

God has placed so many amazing people in my life that have made this journey possible--I honestly couldn't have done it without a single one of them

My amazing parents have to be first--they have supplied everything I have needed and done so more lovingly than I could have ever asked or imagined. They have supported me financially, emotionally, and spiritually through this past year--not to mention my entire life. Thank you for encouraging me to follow my dreams, to live the life that God has called me to. Thank you for keeping me on track and reminding me of who I am and what I am called to. Thank you for supporting every decision that I make. Thank you for sacrificing so much, I don't say thank you enough. You have shared with me in the amazing moments...and walked with me through the difficult ones. Thanks to both of you for being my ultimate support and best friends--I love you guys!!!

The rest of my family--you guys have been great! The random cards, messages, tweets, and skype dates--I am so thankful to have such a huge family that loves me so much! I miss you guys!

To my church family--Thanks to each and every one of you for the prayers and financial support, I wouldn't be here without you. It is so wonderful to have a church family who supports you in decisions and walks with you when things don't go exactly as planned. To all the individuals who have sent me cards, given me money, and simply asked my parents how I am doing--I can't begin to name everyone of you. But I am more thankful for you than you will ever know-thank you for making my dream a reality!!

To my precious friends--thank you for the constant encouragement and care. It is a beautiful thing to have friends who are constantly checking in on me and wanting an update on my life. You are such blessings--the last year would have been unbearable without you.

And finally, to my precious friends on this side of the world---thank you for welcoming me into your homes. To the Pass family for lending me a bedroom when I just needed to be with a family and for making sure that I have at least one home cooked meal a week (with veggies)--you guys are great! To Donne--thank you for constantly drawing me closer to our Father. To Justine, Megan, and Caron--thank you for being there no matter what I have needed! I know you are all just a phone call away. Thanks for taking me in and loving me like you've known me for years. My church family here-thank you for the hugs and prayers--thanks for making me feel so loved. To Carl--an amazing friend and boyfriend--thanks for everything. I can't even being to name it all. You're great.

the unknown

Lately I am reminded of starting this blog a little over a year ago--how I committed to "trash my list." The past year has been all kinds of things--rewarding, an adventure, exciting, difficult, scary, overwhelming--but mostly it has been more than I ever dreamed it could be. And here I am, almost at the same point all over again--except this time I know what the future holds. Maybe not every specific detail or how in the world it will all work out--but I know it is time to pursue the passion the Lord has given me, in a very particular way.

I have known for a while that the Lord had something different for my life. I've known that I wasn't going to work in a "normal" job, have a "normal" income, or live a "normal" life. Two years ago when I came to South Africa for the first time, I knew more specifically what that different life would look like. I knew that my Father's desire for me was to start a camp for township kids. Those of you that know me know that on the surface this isn't really a stretch for me, if I could I would live a kid's camp every day. I absolutely love it. I honestly feel so overwhelmed that the Lord has chosen to give me a calling that allows me to live my dream every day.

So basically this is what it will entail--I want to start a non-profit organization that allows people from all different areas to sponsor children from the townships of South Africa to experience a week (or weekend) away at a camp. Camp to me is a time when kids can escape from their everyday lives and be submerged in something new. They can experience new things and make new friends--but most of all they can hear about and experience the overwhelming love of Christ.

I would love to be able to enable children from townships to have an experience where they can escape. Escape to a place where they feel safe, escape to a place where for a few days they don't have the worries of every day life, and escape into the loving arms of their Father.

Now, here is the tricky part--where the unknown comes into play--the logistics of it all. The only place I know where to begin is prayer, and I am asking that you join me. The vision is big--but I know that my God is bigger. He already knows how every detail is going to play out.

The plan as of now is to go back to the States in December and begin immediately working on things--finances, board of directors, legal issues, mission statements, and all the other details. Believe me, the list goes on and on. For now, that's the only step I know. I am praying that things come together quickly, and I can be back in South Africa working on things this side as soon as possible. But I know that God's timing is best--I'm learning that more and more everyday. So here is to another unknown journey--thankful that the plans have already been made.

****I am attaching some pictures from this week at the school :) I absolutely love working with these kiddos! 

Changes...

hello everyone :) Sorry it has once again been such a long time since I have written--life has been a bit crazy...

As most of you probably know, I now have a new job. I am working at a preschool in a township. It has been absolutely amazing. I love the kid, as well as the other teachers I work with. It is such an uplifting environment where I get to do exactly what I love--work with kids all day!

I have to say that in all the events that led up to this, I was quite nervous about what would happen and where I would end up. I've never been very good at dealing with change, and I honestly believe that the Lord was teaching me a lesson in all of this. I am thankful that He stretched me and showed me once again that He is in complete control. I know that He orchestrated all of the events of the past few months--there is no other way it would have all worked out.

I know that through this the Lord is preparing me for the next phase of my life. I know that four months from now this season of my life is over. I will be going home--for how long, I don't know. But I know its coming--time to go home, finish school, and pursue the vision that the Lord has given me. I honestly don't know how this is going to pan out, but I know that my sweet Father does. He has plan, and I honestly cannot wait to see what the next chapter hold.

I ask that you will continue to pray for me--those prayers help me to make it through the difficult moments. Pray that I will have an impact on the lives of the children and teachers that I come in contact with everyday. Also pray that God begins to open up doors for the next chapter of my life and instructing me on what route I should go.

Thank you all so much for your continued support and love---and I promise there will be pictures next time :)

Remaining...

I am coming to realize more and more that the majority of the Christian life is lived in the middle. Let me explain, we all experience those wonderful mountain top experiences when we are so very close to Christ that nothing else phases us, and we have also had the valley experiences where we are reminded that the only thing we have to hold onto is Christ. Although these are times when we grow tremendously, I don't believe that this is where the majority of our time is spent---at least not for me lately.

Don't get me wrong--the Lord is continuing to overwhelm me with the lessons He is teaching me and the way He lavishes His grace upon me. And believe me, struggles and overwhelming situations still happen quite often! However, the Lord right now is teaching me to live in the in-between. In a place where I'm not really sure what comes next--in a place where I'm not having any major struggles, but also no major triumphs. In a place where I am learning to be content taking one day at a time. And being open to whatever path the Lord leads me down--and being ok with the fact that I don't know where it is leading.

There have been overwhelming moments lately. When the trials of relationships, school assignments, dealing with fourteen 4 and 5 year olds, saying goodbye to my parents, etc. have become too much. Days where just hiding in my room seems like a good idea, yet the Lord continues to place such amazing people in my life to speak His truth clearly. Two of those people being my parents, who thankfully walk through my triumphs AND struggles with me. They are the two most encouraging people in my life, and I honestly couldn't do this without them--they are constantly encouraging me with prayer and scripture. To say I am blessed is an understatement.

I am sure that many of you have seen pictures from when the team was here--they were much better at taking pics than I am! It was so amazing to have them here. To be able to share this season of my life with them and have a little taste of home as well. The kids are doing well---it's amazing the progress they have made sense the beginning of the year. I am so thankful that God made it possible for me to have the group of kids that I do---they are definitely interesting at times, but they teach me so much everyday.

I also have started leading an aerobics class on Wednesday afternoon with some of the grade 5, 6, and 7 kids. It has been so fun getting to know them and interact with them!

Thank you all so much for your continued love, support, prayers, and encouragement. The cards, emails, facebook messages, etc. are SO greatly appreciated.....even if I am not the best at responding! You are each loved and appreciated more than you will ever know. Here is a passage of Scripture that my wonderful daddy shared with me a few weeks ago...I hope it finds you where you are and speaks into your life. Love you all!

1 Corinthians7:23-24---"You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation where God has called them."  

bring the rain

You know that saying "when it rains, it pours"? Well, I must say that has been what my life has felt like over the past couple of weeks. As most of you know, I went through the process of buying a car (well, my parents buying me a car)--which was by no means an easy task. It was actually rather difficult---I think in all it ended up being about a month long adventure from the time I found the car, to now when it has finally ended. I'll skip all the crazy details, basically it is difficult to get a large amount of money to someone on another continent---and it's difficult to prove you are a resident, when you aren't.

The car buying in itself would have been plenty to overwhelm me, but then came the past 8 days. I had a flat tire--and not just one that could be fixed, it had to be replaced. Crazy potholes. Then, my keypad went out in my blackberry, then just yesterday I had another flat tire. Same thing--must be replaced. I realize that all of this seems small, and believe me, writing it now I almost feel silly, but at the time you could only describe me using two words--completely overwhelmed.

It was just the combination of many different things--the busyness of school and different situations with people in my life--added on top of trying to figure out how to deal with all of these things when I didn't know where to go to get my tire fixed and couldn't call verizon to fix my cell phone.

All of this to say---do you ever just think we get way to overwhelmed with the things of this world? Obviously I do-----In the Word, God tells us that these are "light and momentary trials" which I see now, but at the time--they seemed anything but light. I just wanted a break. I couldn't help but cry and just feel like giving up. Then while driving down the road sunday afternoon, it hit me---it was like God just spoke and said "Courtney, when was the last time you cried like this over someone's salvation." And there it was. Here I am crying about an overwhelming situation which I can do nothing about--it is what it is. Life happens--things mess up, tires go flat...BUT on the other hand, I have a world around me that is dying and going to hell because I am too busy crying about my struggles to stop and tell them about Jesus!

I'm not by any means saying that we won't have difficult days--we are human, they will come and they will affect us. However, when I begin to allow the momentary trials of this world overwhelm me and affect me more than eternal matters, something is desperately wrong. My focus is not where it should be--my priorities must be straightened out.

I pray that God reminds all of us to keep our focus on Him--to not be overcome by the things of this world. Yes they are difficult. Yes, we will have difficult days. Yes, it's ok to cry about them. But it is not ok to worry so much about things I can't control that I forget the real reason I am here......